Fragmentation
by chocolatemarzipan
Summary: There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic. A love story.


**Fragmentation **  
by _exquisitelytragic_

_"There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them __acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic."  
- anais nin._

Hate.  
It's the strongest thing on earth.  
It can be passed down from generation to generation, it can be fought for without a reason why, it can dominate your heart. Many would argue it's what forged the Earth, gave us boundaries.

I am Aphrodite on Mount Olympus fighting with Erida. I am beauty, I am strength. For a losing battle, that was always worth fighting for.

A neverending dream.

I am hated.  
I am loved.

I wake up some mornings and realize that some things will never change.  
I wake up with hope.

That one day.  
Someday...

-

I am in front of you.  
More vulnerable now than I had ever been.  
You can see right through me.  
Do you feel it too?

I am 17 years old.

"so would you like to begin your side of the story Marie?"

I try to recollect all the thoughts in my head, but it all seems so blurry.

I see you and she's holding on to your arm as tightly as she could.  
I never planned on falling for you.

-

Plans.

On that day I planned at waking up at 7 but I couldn't sleep because my stomach was in knots about going to that school. I planned on wearing something stupid to express my rebellion but my dad sighed at me when I went downstairs so I had to change.

It was 5 AM and my father hadn't gone to sleep the entire night.

"I know it's hard" he said softly as I walked down.

"But some things you have to do because you have no choice, ever since your mother died we have no money to send you to your old school..."

It's when he talks like this that I can never reply back, so I sit silently at the table and read the newspaper. The headlines talk about how we lost our business, about how my mother brought so much life into this side of town, but now she's gone, and it feels like everything died along with her.

My dad turned into the shell of the man he was before, and my sisters hardly talk to him anymore.  
"I don't see why we can't just move away."

"Your mother loved it here, and we don't have any money either way" He replied.

"I can just take off my senior year and work to help earn money like Lee is doing."

"Yeah, but she graduated, and you haven't, besides you'd make more money if you were a high school graduate."

He sighed.

"I know you hate it Marie, I know you hate _them_, and I do to, but we have no choice, they have the only public school within this town, believe me if I had the money you'd be going to your old school. I know it's your senior year and you want to graduate with your friends, but you just need to bear with it for a while."

I slumped back into my chair.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, just wake May up now. You don't want to be late."

I walked back upstairs, afraid of the rest of the day.  
Afraid about what could happen.  
Afraid of if we were found out.

I could feel the anger rise.  
I hated this shit.  
I hated not being able to go to my old school.  
I hated how my mom was dead.  
I hated that she wouldn't be able to see me graduate.  
I hated how _they_ killed her.

The rain tapped on the windows.  
On a day such as this.

I hate the rain. I hate the Donnelly family.

"It was a mistake" the father had shouted. I watched him get carted off to jail, and I watched my mother die in the rain. His son was there too. Looking at me with hate in his eyes.

But one day he would see him again.  
But I... would never see her again.

"May... wake up we have school today" I knocked on her door.

She opened the door quickly. "I'm ready" she said energeticly.

"Well aren't you just the epitome of cheerleader" I scoffed.

"Whatever" she said, "You know since we're at a new school you could at least try to be cool, or something like that."

"No thanks, I'll stick to being an outcast."

"Just don't be seen with me in school ok?"

"Deal."

I walked with her downstairs.

Her in her designer jeans, and pink sweater and blonde hair. Me in my ripped jeans, and black hoodie, and blue hair.  
We didn't even look like sisters.

My dad stood up and gave me the keys to my moms car.

"Your name is Ally Talbot."

He looked at my sister and said "Your name is Claire Talbot."

My sister whined "Dad can't I pick another name?"

He laughed "Too bad May, I already enrolled you as that. Unless you want to wear a wig I suggest you keep it."

"Fine.."

I grabbed an umbrella out of the closet.

"Girls, be careful."

I know.

And that September morning, in the rain, when I opened the door. That was the first day I began to live.

My sister sat next to me primping in the mirror as I was driving.

"I can't see all this fog is building up" she complained.

"That's not my fault, no one is even gonna care at that school how you look like." I said.

"I don't know why we have to change our names, it's not like anyone knows what we look like." She murmured.

I sighed "Everyone hates us because of our last name. We'd be killed if we stepped into that school. All the people who live on that side of town hate us, especially the Donnellys."

"You think we'll see one of _them_?" She looked scared.

"I hope not."

The fog kept building up inside the car. I opened the window to let the cold air come in. I shivered. My skin felt wet through my damp hoodie, I could see the black dye bleeding through and staining my shirt.  
It was the little details like this that made me feel alive.  
Things that I could draw or write down and save.  
Things that I could hold onto.

The freeway was irritating to drive on. It was mostly a bunch of high school students who didn't want to be late, so they kept cutting me off. My sister closed her powder compact.

"You know Marie, you could wear a little more makeup than eyeliner and concealer."

"No thanks, I'm not trying to impress anyone especially there."

"You could get a boyfriend there." she giggled.

"And then what? He'll dump me if he found out. I know that's what your planning on doing so I'm advising against it already as your older sister."

She quickly changed the subject.

"So Peach Creek High is in the more expensive part of town, I wonder how big the school is."

"We'll find out soon enough.."

-

When we arrived most of the students were inside.

"Shit we're late."

"I don't have class till next period" May answered.

"You can stay in here if you want." I handed her the keys and fished out my bagpack from the back of the car. I found an old newspaper to shield me from the rain and I ran up the steps to my nightmare.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be inside. The floors were a nice wood grained tile pattern and the lockers were blue and clean. I made my way to the first room on the left.

I could smell the new carpet and coffee when I entered.

"Excuse me.." I said to a lady in a blue pantsuit.

"Hello, what do you need young lady?"

"My name is Mar- I mean my name is Ally Talbot and I'm here to pick up my schedule."

She smiled. "Ahh yes we've been waiting for you. Your first class is English which is down the hall in Room 22."

"Thank you" I said quietly.

I shut the door to the office and walked down the hallway. So many rooms, so much more than my old school I thought. Room 22.

I guess this is it. I opened the door slowly.

I heard applause.

A woman's voice boomed from the back of the room. "Thanks Kevin for that wonderful story about your summer vacation"  
The boy who was in front of me sat back down and I entered.

"Sorry I'm late, there was a lot of traffic."

As I made my way towards the only empty desk, the teacher stopped me.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"My name is Ally."

"Well then Ally, tell us about your summer vacation."

I felt my anxiety kick in. I don't do anything for summer vacation.  
My family has no money. We spent the entire summer trying to pay off our debt. I wanted to say that but I refrained.

"Last summer I went with my mother to Tahiti where we spent the entire day lounging around on her private yacht while my other 2 sisters went with our father to Italy."

"Sounds interesting" she replied.  
She went off on a tangent on how Tahiti was one of her favorite places to visit. I looked back into the class, everyone of them in their designed brands and Coach bags, or their Louis Vuitton handbags.

"Excuse me, though, any questions you want to ask Ally?"

The boy who was up here when I first walked into the room raised his hand.

"Is your hair naturally blue?"

I blushed.

"Yeah."

The class laughed.

The teacher shushed the class "Now Kevin it's not fun to embarass our students."

"Yes Miss. Keith." He mocked.

"Now Ally sit here next to Nazz."

A pretty blonde haired girl waved to me. I quickly sat next to her.

"I love your hair" she complimented.

I smiled "Thanks."

-

During lunch I sat alone. Nazz told me she was leaving for lunch to check on something, but she told me that she would sit with me next time.

I felt alone even though I was in a crowd.  
I didn't know anyone, except for the backwards hat kid and her.

I left the cafeteria and sat outside underneath a marquee.  
It was still raining and it was cold but it felt so much better than being inside and looking like an outcast.

I looked through my bag and found a notebook.

"One day, she will hear the sounds of bluebirds in the spring. They will sing, and they will carry her to happiness. Until then..."

A boy sat down in the opposite bench. He looked at me through the corner of his eyes. I blushed, I could feel his gaze penetrating me.

I started writing again "Until then, we can only wait for winter to end."

His black eyes met mine.  
Charcoal.

I felt the heat rising.  
Why was it so cold outside? It started to bother me.

He smiled at me.  
Eeek he caught me staring. I feel like such a loser. I looked down at my notebook.  
Minutes felt like hours. He picked up the pencil on the table and started to move it around a huge notebook.

The bell rang.  
I continued writing.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said softly.  
I heard him walk away his steps in pattern with the beating of my heart.

_Because one day you'll learn how to smile. No matter how much it hurts._

please review.


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